The
average casino provides the ideal backdrop
for anyone interested in studying American demographics. One
would be hard-pressed to find an environment that includes a
more thorough cross-section of people. Everyone is there, whether
or not they have the temperament or the savvy to be gambling
their hard-earned cash.
Ultimately,
just about everyone ends up at the blackjack table.
Sit at a blackjack table for 2 or 3 hours (or even better, 7
or 8 hours), and you’re bound to come across a plethora
of players to keep you entertained (or worse, annoyed). And
yet, despite the fact that so many different types of people
pack the casino, it seems that a handful of typical (or should
I say stereotypical) players always seem to end up at my table.
Is
it just me, or do any of these folks sound familiar to you too?
Chuck Aluck — Pottsville,
KY
"Yeah, maybe I have a gambling problem. I've consistently
lost at betting on horse racing, dog racing, and cock fighting,
but I keep going. And yesterday I found myself begging my little
niece to give me a chance to win back the money I lost to her
at Go Fish."
The
Serious Sams
I play to win just as much as the next guy, but The Serious
Sams don’t seem to be having any fun at all. Of course,
The Serious Sams have basic blackjack strategy down cold, and
they never make a mistake; but they also never smile, never
make eye contact with the dealer or their fellow players and
they never, ever speak (except of course to correct a dealer
error). They may order bottled water every couple of hours,
but do they notice the large-breasted waitress bringing it to
them? Or the fact that she’s better looking than Pamela
Anderson? Not a chance.
The
Mamas and The Papas
The Mamas and The Papas are generally in their late 30s and
early 40s and desperate for a good time, far away from their
kids and their jobs. They tend to seize a table as a group,
get a little tipsy, and are bent on becoming fast friends with
the dealers. Usually one or two of them have a vague sense of
basic strategy and the others are clueless, needing constant
reminders of when to hit or stay. They go overboard trying to
create camaraderie with the dealers and get visibly angry when
the dealers don’t feel like joining in the fun. The dealer,
after all, is ruining their vacation! But does the dealer care?
No. He hates them.
The
Drunken Frat Boys
There’s never a right time for The Drunken Frat Boy, but
his presence is particularly annoying at the blackjack table.
His body is always turned outward, towards the casino floor
(so he can continue his drunken conversation with other drunken
frat boys), and he’s constantly oblivious to the fact
that the dealer is waiting on him. The Drunken Frat Boy has
obviously failed Basic Strategy 101, but when he hits a pair
of sevens against a dealer’s six, what happens? You guessed
it. He draws the third seven and celebrates like he’s
a blackjack genius.
The
Hoverers
By definition, The Hoverer is not actually sitting at the blackjack
table. She’s standing directly behind her boyfriend taking
it all in. Her boyfriend is a fine blackjack player, but he’s
burdened by having to keep The Hoverer entertained. He tries
to explain the game to her, but deep down he’s hoping
she’ll go to the spa or take a dip in pool and just leave
him alone for a few hours. The Hoverer may sit at the table
for a few a hands, but will quickly return to hovering mode
after losing ten or twenty dollars. Fortunately, sometimes The
Hoverer is hot and makes for a nice distraction during shuffles.
The
Wishy-Washy Wandas
The Wishy-Washy Wandas are most often senior citizens who add
a nice flavor to any blackjack table. They are fun, talkative
and have been playing blackjack for many years, mastering basic
strategy long ago. Despite all that, The Wishy Washy Wandas
refuse to trust basic strategy in certain situations! They will
agonize over whether to hit 16 against the dealer’s ten
and they will ask the opinions of those sitting next to them.
Finally, they will stick. When the next card is a five, The
Wishy-Washy Wandas will laugh, slap there hands on the table
and order another Tom Collins. You gotta love The Wishy-Washy
Wandas!
There
you have it, a small sampling of players guaranteed to show
up at a table near you. I guess a session of blackjack wouldn’t
be the same without them. Now let’s head over to the craps
table...
